Back Painsz.

Today I’ll be doing a few fun things.  I’ll be going to Shake, Rattle, and Read — there are free books there, but I want to go for the bikeride.  It’s a good 20 minutes away but we’ll see how it goes.

I have a coffee sitdown with the Data Science lead for Civis on Thursday.  I hope it goes well — if not, oh well!  I’ll also be sitting down and applying more today.  I’m going to make a paper schedule for myself to do X things.  This unemployment has shown me that I don’t get a lot done if I just sit around and be depressed and lonely; I gott’a force myself to get out, and that forces myself to be social as well.


The SSRI symptoms seem to have gone away as of a few days ago — probably Sunday, or Saturday, I’d say.  The only lingering thing I have is mild dizziness if I stay up too late.  All in all, this was an extremely productive unemployment time if only because of this medication change.

It’s strange how such a small, small pill can change your life so much.

As is usual with my life, the second something goes away something else comes and takes its place.  This one doesn’t seem as major but I’ll track it neverthless.

Since last night, possibly after increased tension in my back from sitting dumb, I felt soreness in my left shoulder blade.  It does not hurt to move my arms up or down, or back or forwards, but it does hurt to reach my left arm to the right, or my left arm back, without the other arm.  It was extremely difficult getting into a sleeping position — on my side — which didn’t hurt.  Fairly annoying, but not the end of the world.

I took a bath, popped a few ibuprofens, we’ll see how this is.  I will give this two weeks before I see a doctor; it could be nothing, but because I also had mild nerve damage I was also concerned about a potential tumor in the upper lung, which has similar symptoms.  Since such tumors are usually malignant, I’d want to be absolutely sure that no funny business is going on.  I’m fairly sure it’s just my terrible, terrible posture, though.

Advertisements

5.8.2016

SSRI Scale for Today.

Took 1/4th of a benzo.  I have noticed that being at home, or being up later, will cause me to be slightly dizzier.  I’m not sure what this is, but it’s not that bad.


 

Dizziness: 2

Depersonalization: 1

Ability to Focus: 7

Fever-like: 1

Tiredness: 3

5.7.2016

SSRI Scale for Today.

I slept for a long time today, but I don’t know.  I felt a lot better today than yesterday.  The anxiety was pretty quelled — but I did take a benzo.  So, we’ll see about tomorrow.  Maybe I’m over the hill?


 

Dizziness: 4

Depersonalization: 2

Ability to Focus: 6

Fever-like: 3

Tiredness: 4

SSRI Withdrawal.

Cubital is pretty much gone.  Great.  Awesome.  In my continuing adventures of literally one thing after another [except, I caused this one –] I’m working through SSRI Withdrawal from Zoloft.  I’ve tried this a few times before but was sick for around a month, which didn’t work out so well when I was going off to grad school or whatever, but now that I’m not-yet-employed I figured it’d be a good time to star this.

I think I wrote about this before, noting that I’d started weening myself off around Sunday.  That means it’s been around four and a half days.  Doesn’t seem long, but it feels long.

Here’s the gist.  I was on 50mg of Zoloft, but I cut it to 25mg a while ago because I wanted to ween myself off of it.  I’m taking it for anxiety, but I don’t feel it’s doing all that much — or, at elast, I’ll not know if it’s not doing that much unless I stop it and try.  After the 25mg, I cut the 25mg pills in half for around six months; that’s 12.5mg.  I honestly thought this was the smallest amount I coult take (I was shown there’s a “liquid form” of it that goes all the way down to 1mg) so I started taking it every other day.  Then every three days.  Last weekend, I decided to stop it completely since I didn’t feel so bad with the every three days.

Here’s the symptoms.  Pretty strong dizziness; nothing I can’t handle, but I felt a little awkward riding my bike around.  I felt like I had to concentrate a lot.  I had numb lips for a bit, but that went away.  I feel like my anxiety is fairly strong, but I think it might be a reaction to the dizziness.  There’s a feeling of being out of my body [depersonalization] sometimes.  Other than that, think: mild flu symptoms.  Actually, it feels a lot like the flu except you don’t actually have a fever or much else you can do.

This is all fairly manageable for me.  I thought I’d be useless at working, but the feeling of wanting to get away from the dizzy feeling actually made me concentrate a bunch more on my work, making me fairly productive.  Relatively productive.  Somewhat productive.  But the worst part is that there is no telling how long this kind of thing will last.  Before, I came off of 50mg and it took a month before I gave up and went back on it.  It seems much more mild now, so I imagine around (like all of my other things) three weeks to a month.  That’s a lot of time, but it seems that this kind of things often gets worse, then gets better in the same amount of time.  At least, that’s what some reddit accounts have noted.

For scaling and personal reference (and for the reasons of seeing if things are better or worse), I’m going to score a few things here out of 10.  Here, 10 is relative to the worst I felt, not how bad it is in the grand scheme of things or something.


Dizziness: 8

Depersonalization: 7

Ability to Focus: 3

Fever-like: 4

Tiredness: 8