Accepted a job at a data shop. I’ll be starting on the 8th of August, but, until then, I’ll just kind of be worried and be learning R.
I’m nervous that I won’t be good, that I won’t learn fast enough, and that I’ll get fired pretty quickly (impostor syndrome type things). But we will see.
Still fairly anxious. I’ll see how that is in the coming weeks when I don’t have joblessness to worry me. There’s still this impostor stuff but, I dunno. We’ll see. I’ve got to see, once I get settled, how anxious I am. It might be worth going back on an SSRI. Maybe.
Having to look for a job is full-time stress. I’ve been fairly stressed out for the last four-or-five weeks, and it’s been basically non-stop. Clonaz has worked pretty well. Today, I tried Propanolol [5mg equiv] to see if I would react well. I did feel sleepy for the first part of it, but it could be coincidence. The reason being is that I have the Uptake interview tomorrow, which I’ll probably (in the future) know doesn’t go well, but it’s my main trial to see if Propanolol works for me. I’ll be taking probably a quarter of a pill of Clonaz and 5mg of Propanolol and see how I do in the interviews. I was given 10mg, the smallest dose, but that scares me a little bit. Either way, we’ll see how I do. Usually once I get talking I’m okay.
Will update tomorrow afternoon.