Nervous Nelly.

I wanted to record this for the sake of remembering it next year.  I’ve been having a lot of trouble riding to work and back — I’ve had to stop inside of Starbucks, other places, to rest for a bit, and have considered hailing taxis or going on buses.  I’m much more anxious when it comes to going to places (even Pokiology, which is relatively close to where I live).

I’ve taken 1/2 prop and 1/2 clon to help get to work in the morning.  In the evening, I sort of just hope for the best.  This is pretty silly because it came on so suddenly and I’m not 100% sure when it started or when it’ll stop.

I think it may have started on a day where it was extremely cold (-10?) and I was riding down Halstead.  I felt like I was going to pass out but I had no familiar buildings that were open around me.  I had to scuttle to Target which was easier said than done since I felt like I was going to throw up the entire time, and wait there for a while until I felt better.

Once I’m at work, I feel better and nothing is wrong.  Once I get to my destination, I think I’m fine.  It’s getting there that’s the problem.

I think this might be for: extreme cold, rain.  Those are the two main ones that triggered me.

We’ll see.  I don’t like this much so I’m hoping it goes away quickly and goes back to just being a boring commute.

Still Jobbin’, Propanolol.

Having to look for a job is full-time stress.  I’ve been fairly stressed out for the last four-or-five weeks, and it’s been basically non-stop.  Clonaz has worked pretty well.  Today, I tried Propanolol [5mg equiv] to see if I would react well.  I did feel sleepy for the first part of it, but it could be coincidence.  The reason being is that I have the Uptake interview tomorrow, which I’ll probably (in the future) know doesn’t go well, but it’s my main trial to see if Propanolol works for me.  I’ll be taking probably a quarter of a pill of Clonaz and 5mg of Propanolol and see how I do in the interviews.  I was given 10mg, the smallest dose, but that scares me a little bit.  Either way, we’ll see how I do.  Usually once I get talking I’m okay.

Will update tomorrow afternoon.